A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.

Oh, my God, Mlle. Johnston needs be more selective. So after David and I left, she and Phil were supposed to leave also since he was all kissing her face. Well, she went and got her stuff only to realize that Phil was gone. She was pissed, so when this Filipino asked to buy her a drink, she said yes. Then he followed her around. I don't know how she shook him off when she was so drunk, but she did before going back to the room. She told me all this at 4:30 in the morning because I accidentally locked her out.

Mlle. Johnston and I visited Ensanada, Mexico today. There were a fuck load of guys in cars who kept honking at us. I think the "Best Pick Up Line" award goes to the guy who stood in front of a shop and went, "Come in, ladies. Models pay less." It feels good to be checked out wherever you go; it makes you feel desirable and almost invincible.  Yes, I never knew being viewed as a piece of meat could feel so good.

Anyways, we went to a bar and each got a margarita, but Mlle. Johnston also got a shot of Kahlúa. I felt off after I drank a bit more than a quarter of it, but I drank a quarter more. When I moved, it felt like I was moving faster than my brain could register. Like, my brain was slow in registering it. These two men came to the bar and talked to us, but we left a bit after that. Mlle. Johnston kept giggling, but I was okay. Actually, I felt very witty and clever, and I like that feeling. It was just a bit off, and I thought if I would just walk slower and more deliberate, no one would know that I was tipsy. The paranoia was kind of fun; it made me feel like I was on a secret mission.

We found David a bit and played cards with him. The waiter that Mlle. Johnston fancies was outside one of the clubs, and I told her to go talk to him since it would be a bit inappropriate for him to talk to her since he worked there. So she was like, "I've seen you around a lot," and he was like, "Yeah? Where have you seen me?" even though we thought this whole time he was looking at her at dinner. Boo. What a douche.

So we played cards and the Filipino guy came. Okay, so when Mlle. Johnston and I were sunbathing this morning, he came over and it was majorly awkward and she was avoiding him. Anyways, the table has four chairs, and we used the extra chair as a place to keep our purses. He made a motion to sit down, but I was like, "We're waiting for someone to come," so he stood there as the three of us played cards. Once it got really awkward, David suggested we go to the Deck Party, and we left. The Filipino guy didn't follow us, thank God. But the Deck Party wasn't fun, so we went to the karaoke thing, and it was hilarious to watch drunk people sing. Then we went to the Rex.

Like, since we played cards and stuff together, I thought our relationship was purely platonic but when we were back on the dance floor, it was me and David dancing together again. Okay. No big deal since we were just two friends dancing together. But after a while, he put his arms around my waist and we repeated what we did yesterday. It was all fun and good.

And then there's Mlle. Johnston. Since David and I were dancing together, she got bored and had a smoke. This guy came over and asked for a smoke too--when we were discussing the night later on, I told her to not give out her cigarettes anymore; it's supposed to be the other way around--and they started talking. K. Thing is...while we were dancing, I saw him have two bottles of beer, and when they started talking, he asked for a bottle of beer, a disco ball, and a shot each for him and her. Yeah. She was sensible enough to know that she couldn't finish all that. She only drank the disco ball, and she told me to drink it with her when he left for the bathroom. I did; it was yummy.

David and I danced some more before he said we should go check on Mlle. Johnston. We've been checking on her periodically through out the night, and she seemed like she was getting on well, but David wasn't convinced, so I came over, and I was like, "Hey, you okay?" and she was like, "Yeah, I'm okay," and I was like, "You don't seem okay," and she didn't seem okay then because the whole time we were talking, he had his hand on the back of her thigh, near her ass. She pushed him away for a bit and scooted closer to me and whispered, "I think I'm drunk; I want to leave." I said, "Well, then let's leave," but she was like, "He's gonna follow us," and I was like, "It's alright; I can take care of him," and she was like, "No, you can't. He's in the Marines," and I was like, "Well, David's gonna help us out, so get up."

We told him--his name was Scott. Boo--that we were going to walk around. We took the elevator up to Lido and got pizza to buy time. Then Mlle. Johnston announced that she needed to go to the bathroom, and I said I'd come with. David and Scott went outside onto the deck. A few minutes later, David came back and the three of us literally ran to the elevator and David delivered us safely to our room.

Mlle. Johnston thanked David and I for being good friends, and David said, "Well, I consider you guys my friends which was why I played cards with you guys. I only play cards with family and friends, not strangers." Well, I'm glad we've made a good friend.

Then Mlle. Johnston and I talked about the night. She complained about how I get nice guys and she gets creepers. Well, I bail when I sense the creepiness. She just needs to learn how to say no.

Oh, yeah. So on the first night, before things got going, we were really bored, so we just hung around the Atrium and people-watched. We spotted a group of cute guys, but they looked pretty douchey, so we just planned on doing some quick and harmless flirting. But when we decided on what to do, they began to leave, so, on a whim, I stopped them to ask for the time when they walked past us. Well, the guy who answered had on a red shirt that said "Canada" in white. When David and I were dancing together on the first night, guess what shirt he was wearing. Yup, but when I asked him if it was us who asked for the time, he didn't remember. But he figured out that it WAS us tonight. 

All women are flirts, but some are restrained by shyness, and others by sense.

The day is starting off horribly. I had killer cramps yesterday so Mlle. Johnston gave me Midol to help, but there's caffeine in Midol and I took it at 2 AM since we got back at probably a bit later than half past one.  I was up till 3 writing the entry for Monday but still wasn't tired or sleepy, but I forced myself to sleep anyways.

But you know those uncomfortable and headache-inducing dreams where the same dream and a couple of its variants are looped over and over again? Normally, I would realize something was off and woke up, but I guess I was so tired physically that I couldn't escape it. Well, I guess I did for a couple of times but I couldn't tell the difference between the dreams and reality so I'm not so sure. I woke up a few minutes before six despite going to bed at half past three. Why couldn't I be like this during the school year?

The whole day, I felt off; Mlle. Johnston kept asking if I was okay. I was; I just didn't feel like eating or doing anything productive. We went to Catalina and went back because I was feeling very lethargic. I intended to sleep for half an hour but ended up napping for only 15 minutes and couldn't sleep anymore.

Mlle. Johnston took her time and forever getting ready for the formal dinner. I wore my black prom dress and Mlle. Johnston wore this tiny little black dress that made her look really hot, especially with the red lipstick. I was pissed when she took forever to get ready but it was partly out of jealousy since she looked hot and more appropriate than I was since the people who bothered to dress up wore homecoming or cocktail dresses so I stuck out--which turned out to be good since there were a bunch of people complimenting me on my dresses. However, the waiter that Mlle. Johnston fancies didn't even properly glance at me twice, but he did a double take for her, so it's all good.

We went to the Flashback party, which was a dud since it was more for much older people. We bailed on that and went to the Comedy Show. That was hilarious.

Then we came back again for the Salsa dancing, which was officially called the Latin Party. We met David and Phil there with their other cousins. We danced with them even though none of us knew how to dance to this kind of music. David suggested that we should go to the Comedy thing at midnight, since we would have a great laugh instead of dancing awkwardly to Latin music.

So we went got that, and the seating arrangement was lIke this: Mlle. Johnston me David, which was a bit awkward since I thought he was interested in Mlle. Johnston more. During the thing, Mlle. Johnston leaned over and whispered, "I think you should kiss him...you have to make the first move." I was like, "What? But he likes you though." She just laughed and shook her head. So during the skit, whenever the comedian said something outrageously funny, I would laugh and bump into him or lightly touch his arm. Well, I received no response so I stopped. No hard feelings; just a confirmation that I was right.

We went back to the club and, thank God, they were finally playing our music. Okay, so when I walked in, I saw this really cute guy staring at me, so, for some reason, I held his gaze for the longest time as I walked to the dance floor with a smirk on my face. Then David came in and we danced together for the whole night. Sometimes he would put his hands on my waist, and, not wanting it to be awkward, I put my arms around his neck. Sometimes I would lean in closer, and he would hug me even tighter. If it got to that, I'd just put my head on his shoulder and rest for a bit while dancing, if that makes sense. His shoulders were a tad higher than I could reach, so it was a bit like me putting my head on his chest, my nose against his clavicle. The whole time, I was just thinking how good, how much better this whole situation would be if it was somebody I actually liked...well, like, have romantic feelings for.

Having said that, the next part will seem so illogical. When we were that close to each other, I wondered what he'd do if I kissed him on the cheeks. Well, I decided to see for myself, so I tiptoed and leaned in, aiming for his cheek, but he saw me moving in, so he thought I was going to kiss him; well, he turned his head so I could meet his lips. I think our lips did brush, and since I didn't end up where I intended to, I panicked and slid over to where his cheek was. It was awkward, not gonna lie. On a scale of one to ten, this incident is a solid seven. When that failed, I returned to his chest/shoulder and kind of laughed in his neck. I guess he could feel it since he kind of nuzzled back and hugged me tighter.

Mlle. Johnston said that Phil thought I was being a tease for not grinding on David. Mlle. Johnston said that I should grind on David since "it's fun." I've considered it and decided that since I'm not comfortable doing that and since I think it makes me feel and look cheap, I won't be doing it--I think I totally fucked up the verb tenses in that last sentence.

Point is...I try to keep it clean and classy--well, my definition of clean and classy, that is.

And then, you know, I launch into another story of my flirtation for the night. So...I kept getting really thirsty, and David would come with me to get water every time. He's such a gentleman; all those time that I got water, he was always the one pouring.  So my foot was kind of cramping up so we just stood side by side, arms touching and just kind of grooved to the music. He was going to go to UCI--small world?

Toward the end of the night, we sat next to each other, and I had my head on his shoulders. Then I asked if he thought I was a tease and he said "not at all." Then I think I nodded off on his shoulders for a bit. Like, a few minutes. After that, we went to get the schedule for tomorrow, and he walked me to my room. 

Adventure without risk is Disneyland.

So when we first started, Mlle. Johnston wandered around the ship. I don't remember what our purposes were, but, truth be told, we were bored and disappointed that guys didn't hit on us. Conceited? Very. I guess we were just trying to look busy until the club opened, which was 10 PM. We got followed by a bunch of black teenage boys who were hitting on us. We stupidly went into this empty bar where they kind of cornered us until my daddy walked in. He didn't know what was going on, but I told one of the kids that he was my daddy and he was an ex-Marine; they all scrammed after that. Mlle. Johnston was a bit peeved that I did that since they kind of were our source of fun. We chatted with this cute Australian fitness trainer; he seemed nice enough, but I don't think he was interested.

So at 10, we left for the club, where NO ONE was in. Lame. So we went to watch an okay show with dancers and comedians. Then we went to the Single and Ready to Mingle event at the same club as before (it's called Rex, by the way), and we were like, "Okay, if there's no one there, let's bail."

There were some people, but the people dancing, at first, were mostly drunk and unattractive. They all couldn't dance, so we didn't dance at first because we didn't want to be associated with that. But we finally went for the dance floor fifteen minutes in. At first, I was so nervous because there were about eleven people on the dance floor, so Mlle. Johnston and I were very easily seen and easily judged. Plus. Mlle. Johnston is a dancer and she danced very sexily, and I didn't want to be compared to that.

Well, I got into it soon enough and this guy named Nick came up and introduced himself and said he saw me in the parking lot earlier in the day and thought he's come and say hi. I introduced myself and we kind of danced together in a group, but I got thirsty, so I went to the bar to drink water.

Well, I was by myself since I told Mlle. Johnston to keep dancing, and this older guy came up and introduced himself; his name was David and he saw me around the pool and thought he'd come over and say hi. Seriously? Like, you can't come up with something more clever than that? He turned out to be 29. Eww. Twenty five is my cut off age. Plus, I was sitting in the stool next to him and I could smell the liquor on his breath. Monsieur Dow told me once that I should just try just sit there all pretty and not be all that talkative, and if a guy's truly interested, he'll bend over backward to keep making conversation. That kind of did happen even though I didn't intent for things to go that way; he'd keep saying something and I'd comment on it politely and that'd be it. This one song came up and I was desperate to get rid of him so I was like, "I LOVE this song!" and started leaving, but then I felt bad so I was like, "You wanna come with?" and of course he followed.

I returned to where we were dancing, where Nick grabbed my hand and started to twirl me round and round. It was fun at first until I realized that he wanted my butt, which had been facing the corner to avoid unwanted grinders, to be right in front of his crotch. Hell no; I'm not going to let some random ass drunk guy I just met stick his junk in my back business, so I kept twirling and twirling and keeping my butt to the wall. Problem solved.

Then Mlle. Johnston got thirsty and I went with her to get a drink, with David of course. He offered to buy us drinks, but I didn't want to get drinks from him, so I politely declined. Mlle. Johnston wanted some though, but they wouldn't let him buy it for her. He let her drink some of the stuff he was drinking even though he knew we were 18. I thought it'd be okay to leave her with him for a few seconds since he was so awkward and I was sure that he'd not do anything inappropriate with her, so I left for the bathroom multiple times that night since Aunt Flo is a bitch who won't leave me the fuck alone. I was wearing my tight stripe dress which looked lovely, but it was so tight that if I wore a pad, it would be visible to creeps who stared at my butt. I'm having major problems with tampons so toilet paper was the next best thing even though that meant I had to change often. Aunt Flo is much like my mother, who came to the Single and Ready to Mingle event and WATCHED us. Thank God we were not doing anything inappropriate when she was watching. Moments before, Mlle. Johnston was smoking and grinding on someone--not at the same time of course. I asked her to leave, and, surprisingly, she did without a hassle.

Well, that is...until I got bored of sitting at the bar once when this funny black guy grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the dance floor. I saw this cute guy dancing by himself and started dancing in front of him. Gradually, we got closer and closer but never close enough for any part of him to touch me even though I would sometimes accidentally brush his knees or upper legs. We were having a good time until I saw the funny black guy dancing with another woman but Mlle. Johnston was nowhere to be found. I kept dancing with the same guy, but I kept looking around and found her with Creeper David at the bar and he gave her something to drink. I kept dancing around, but moments later, she and Creeper David was gone and I couldn't find them anywhere.

At this point, on a scale of one to ten, my freaking out level was a high 6. I don't get freak out easily; almost nothing even gets pass four, so six is pretty high. I stopped dancing and started looking around. Since my back was to the bar when we danced, I asked my dancing partner if he'd seen where she went. He didn't know, but he  went with me to ask some of the people who worked there for her whereabouts, and one of them got us to the right place. She was smoking where we were sitting when the club started, but then I saw Creeper David uncomfortably close to her. I tried asking her if she was okay from where I was dancing but I'm nearsighted and that club was dark, so I couldn't tell. I didn't want to just come over there and dragged her over. At one point, she came over and she was like, "Hey, are you okay?" and I was like, "Are YOU okay?"

She wasn't, but he followed her to us, so I grabbed my dancing partner's shoulders and spoke to his ears, "hey, is it alright if she dances with us? That guy's 29." He said it was okay, so I immediately grabbed her hands and we danced with my dancing partner too. Well, Creeper David came on the dance floor and started dancing with her again even though my dancing partner and I tried our hardest to keep them separated.

A few minutes later, another guy came and grabbed my dancing partner and shouted to me, "This is my little cousin!"  I laughed and waved hello to the "little cousin" and the older cousin started dancing with me and his cousin. Suddenly, I grabbed him and said, "can you dance with my friend over there?" he was like, "yeah, sure" and he grabbed her and pulled her toward him while Creeper David was still grinding on her. They had tons of fun dancing thisclose to each other while Creeper David watched on; he didn't leave till much later.

When the problem with Mlle. Johnston was situated, I turned to the little cousin and thanked him. I asked him for his name and he said "David." Great. He asked for my name and I told him.

Anyways, throughout the night, David was dancing very, very close to me, but I always backed away while dancing. Sometimes I would be backed to the wall, but I always found a way to turn and go the other way.

Anyways, at one point, I put my hands on his shoulders to ask him a question, since he would lean closer and give me his ear. Well, this time, for some reason, I kept it there a bit too long, and he took it as an invitation to put his hands on my waist, where they eventually slipped down to my hips. So, when the faster beats came, I took my hands off his shoulders and threw them in the air; to shake off HIS hands, I jump-danced and turned around. Bad move. He grabbed my hips again and now my butt was to him and I could feel him trying to get closer. I was just trying to inch unnoticeably forward to counteract his moving forward. Then the faster beats came again and I danced just out of reach. Disaster averted.

Toward the end of the night, there were only three couples on the dance floor and I was the only one of them not grinding and touching.

At one point, I got thirsty and told David. He came with me to get a drink and Mlle. Johnston and the older cousin--Phil--came over too, but before they did, this guy asked to come between David and I when we were talking to grab some water. No big. He accidentally spilled some on my thighs and he said, "Sorry" to me and turned to David and said, "I'll leave it to you to wipe it for her," with a wink and left. I wiped it myself before he could get to it. Mlle. Johnston told me that Creeper David just grabbed her ass and started grinding when she was smoking.

Phil left and Mlle. Johnston danced with us. There was only one couple left on the dance floor and they were dirty dancing, like, no joke.

All of a sudden, I felt a pair of arms grabbing my arms, but I didn't panic because I could tell they were a woman's hands: warm and motherly. She leaned in to whisper in my ears "I don't know..." Millions of thoughts raced through my head before she could finish the sentence: if you know, but dancing that close with a guy like that is very risqué/if you know, but you're bleeding through your dress/ if you know, but your bloody pad's fallen to the floor...worst case scenarios like that. Instead, she said, "I don't know how you get your lovely body to move like that, but I think I should let you know that you're a beautiful dancer." I laughed and thanked her. That totally made my night.

I don't know why, but I think David became more interested in Mlle. Johnston than me after she joined. No big, I'm not interested in him. I'm just glad I was dancing with him and not some creep who would try harder to press against me. Us four made plans to do Salsa dancing tomorrow even though I can't salsa for shit. 

People who build their houses in your heart.

Mlle. Smith and I just kind of shared how we felt about this little predicament we constantly finds ourselves in this year. It's the closest to a heart-to-heart I've ever been with anybody, and it was barely anything.

Anyways, I've long gotten over Mlle. Velasco and Mlle. Yasakova, and I am glad that Mlle. Smith is too. It was actually Mlle. Velasco anyways; I've never really clicked quite right with Mlle. Yasakova and am actually glad to see her go. It was Mlle. Velasco who I always have a jolly time with, but if she wants out, then who am I to stop her? I mean, I've tried getting the four of us back together at my sleepover, but that apparently didn't work. If it is just me and Mlle. Smith who are putting effort into this unrequited relationship, why should we bother at all?

Mlle. Smith and I can have fun by ourselves. We'll go to Catalina after graduation to spend a weekend there. Mlle. Velasco and Yasakova can suck it for all I care.

During Mme. Berman's lecture, Mlle. Johnston went on a poking rampant. I must have jumped out of my seat when I felt the first poke. Anyways, she poked me to let me know that during my walk back to M. Dowden's class, she was watching me and thought I was really pretty with the wind in my hair. She said I had a very satisfied and accomplished look on my face. My God, that was probably that funniest thing someone'd ever said to me because when I was walking back to M. Dowden's room, I happened to forget which one was his, so I just picked a random room (which turned out to be right) and was thinking, "Eff this. If it's wrong, it's wrong. I'll go to the next room if it's wrong."

Mlle. Johnston also found a person to fall in love with. He's a homeschool-er. Our grade. Very cute, tall, and tan. With very, very nice abs. I hope they'll get together and she'll take him to prom. She's pretty and does not deserve to settle for ugly boys like her ex-boyfriend.

For me being depressed means you can spend all day in bed, and still not get a good night’s rest.

I was feeling down for the first two periods at school today for no reason. Like, really down. So down it was not even funny, but I sucked it up and held it in like a big girl and went on my way. School went by like usual. I couldn't switch into Shakespeare and American Government AP like I wanted. Even though I don't know if I will like American Government CP, at least I will have it with Mlle. Johnston and still have Mme. Berman as a teacher. If I was in Shakespeare, I would be with Mlle. Smith, Jang, and Tran, but would be stuck in American Government AP with Mlle. Zhou and her obnoxious friends.

Mlle. Smith and Tran came over today to work on our scholarship packets. I love her very much, but I often wonder the extend to which Mlle. Smith can do for herself. She looked really pretty today with her hair slightly curled. Mine would never retain the curliness for the whole. I wish it would just hurry up and grow already.

Anyways, I called the cruise line company or whatever and got an estimation for our senior trip. If we were to go two to a room, it would be about $640ish including tips. However, if we were to do four to a room, then it would be $550 top. I'm super excited to go. To top that off, Mlle. Johnston's invited me to go with her and our dear friend Monsieur Steven to Six Flags this Saturday. I don't think I can go though, because I already took last Saturday off, plus I need to save money for all kind of stuff.

Anyways, I found this blog yesterday, and it is exactly what I need. She's an American writer living in Paris and writes about her experiences there. From what I've read so far, they are very detailed and interesting, filled with things people would usually consider banal or superfluous, but exactly what I need and want to know.