M. Dow's gotten a girlfriend! He looked so happy when he was telling me how he asked her. It was very cute! I'm incredibly jealous. He usually smiles, but that day he just seems to smiles brighter the whole time we talked. Very, very jealous. He was like, "I finally have someone to cuddle with at night. Now we need to find someone for you to cuddle with." I was like, "Fat chance." I can't bring boys home, and, more importantly, I can't find anyone to really, really like.
When will I be that happy?
Speak of which, I went to the bank yesterday to exchange money for my mother. While there, I also wanted to take my mother off of my account so she couldn't see my expenses. So, the lady at the counter called this really cute guy over to help me. I was smooth, like I usually am, losing my debit card despite having it five seconds ago, dropping my phone on the ground, and sucking on a dumdum like a little child. Then I told him what I wanted to do, and he had to verify some information, like address, phone number, etc...but once he got to my school, he was like, "[My high school]? What do you do there?"
I was like, "Um...go to school?"
Then he asked me where I was going next year, and I was like, "UC Irvine."
I don't know, I just feel like whenever I say I'm going to UC Irvine, I feel like everyone just automatically thinks, "Of course. An Asian girl going to an Asian school." That's what I thought I saw in his eyes when I told him. Anyways, he asked what I was going to study, and I was like, "Oh, biomedical engineering."
He looked impressed and asked if there was a company in the area I wanted to work for. I was like, "Well, I'm actually trying to get out of the area. New York...Europe...you name it and there's a good chance I want to go there." Then he got really excited and said that he was super stoked that Chase had plans to go international soon, which means that he could visit other countries.
Anyways, the whole thing with taking my mother off the account didn't work out because she would have to be present and signed this thing where she agreed to be taken off my account. Yeah, that's not gonna work. He said to just explain it to her, but I told him that he didn't know my mother.
What I'm doing is closing down my account and creating a new one. Problem solved. He gave me his business card so I could call him when I decide to open the new account. His name is Monsieur P. Southerland.
I'll definitely call. If I still have the business card, of course.
I've given Mlle. Jang the link to this blog, which means more censoring. Unless I can get her to stop reading it until the end. On the flip side, I've told M. Giusti that I am recanting my promise of giving him the link. I just feel uncomfortable with him knowing some things about me. I just feel like he's judging me and disappointed in seeing the real, nasty version come out. I just feel like he's put me on this pedestal for so long, imagining that I'm this lovely, kind, and innocent little girl that will always stay that way.
I don't need another copy of my mother, thank you very much.
I actually had a really good conversation with Mlle. Jang yesterday. She just seems more open than Mlle. Smith. Mlle. Smith seems increasingly close-minded to me now. I think we've outgrown each other. I have increasingly find myself without things to say to her because of that. There's really not much to talk about anymore. She finds it weird that I keep in touch with some of the guys on Chatroulette. She thinks I'm crazy for believing in the correlations between chemicals one's body produces and attraction even though it's scientifically backed.
On the other hand, Mlle. Jang laughs at stupid stuff with me. She listens to my stories about M. Dow without judging. Mlle. Tran the Younger listens too. I like that.
Talking about friendship makes me think of the other day when we were talking about weddings and our bridal parties. Mlle. Jang asked if Mlle. Smith would be my maid of honor, and I immediately said "no" without thinking. I feel bad because Mlle. Smith looked a bit hurt, but at least she was still a bridesmaid. I BS-ed my way out of that one, saying that I needed someone who wasn't wishy-washy, and Mlle. Smith said she understood.
That's not why. I'm constantly on the lookout for a candidate to be my maid of honor. Someone who can pass for my twin, yet is not uglier or prettier than me. Someone who is on the same wavelength. Someone who can finish my thoughts and sentences. Someone who always know the right presents to give me because she understands me so perfectly. Someone who will bitch-slap me when I step out of line. Someone who will force me to eat when I should but don't feel like eating. Someone who will love me regardless of my faults and misgivings, of my shallowness and pettiness, of my callousness and weaknesses, etc...
Once I find her, that girl will be my maid of honor.
If this is what I look for in a best girl friend, what exactly am I looking for in a soul mate?
When will I be that happy?
Speak of which, I went to the bank yesterday to exchange money for my mother. While there, I also wanted to take my mother off of my account so she couldn't see my expenses. So, the lady at the counter called this really cute guy over to help me. I was smooth, like I usually am, losing my debit card despite having it five seconds ago, dropping my phone on the ground, and sucking on a dumdum like a little child. Then I told him what I wanted to do, and he had to verify some information, like address, phone number, etc...but once he got to my school, he was like, "[My high school]? What do you do there?"
I was like, "Um...go to school?"
Then he asked me where I was going next year, and I was like, "UC Irvine."
I don't know, I just feel like whenever I say I'm going to UC Irvine, I feel like everyone just automatically thinks, "Of course. An Asian girl going to an Asian school." That's what I thought I saw in his eyes when I told him. Anyways, he asked what I was going to study, and I was like, "Oh, biomedical engineering."
He looked impressed and asked if there was a company in the area I wanted to work for. I was like, "Well, I'm actually trying to get out of the area. New York...Europe...you name it and there's a good chance I want to go there." Then he got really excited and said that he was super stoked that Chase had plans to go international soon, which means that he could visit other countries.
Anyways, the whole thing with taking my mother off the account didn't work out because she would have to be present and signed this thing where she agreed to be taken off my account. Yeah, that's not gonna work. He said to just explain it to her, but I told him that he didn't know my mother.
What I'm doing is closing down my account and creating a new one. Problem solved. He gave me his business card so I could call him when I decide to open the new account. His name is Monsieur P. Southerland.
I'll definitely call. If I still have the business card, of course.
I've given Mlle. Jang the link to this blog, which means more censoring. Unless I can get her to stop reading it until the end. On the flip side, I've told M. Giusti that I am recanting my promise of giving him the link. I just feel uncomfortable with him knowing some things about me. I just feel like he's judging me and disappointed in seeing the real, nasty version come out. I just feel like he's put me on this pedestal for so long, imagining that I'm this lovely, kind, and innocent little girl that will always stay that way.
I don't need another copy of my mother, thank you very much.
I actually had a really good conversation with Mlle. Jang yesterday. She just seems more open than Mlle. Smith. Mlle. Smith seems increasingly close-minded to me now. I think we've outgrown each other. I have increasingly find myself without things to say to her because of that. There's really not much to talk about anymore. She finds it weird that I keep in touch with some of the guys on Chatroulette. She thinks I'm crazy for believing in the correlations between chemicals one's body produces and attraction even though it's scientifically backed.
On the other hand, Mlle. Jang laughs at stupid stuff with me. She listens to my stories about M. Dow without judging. Mlle. Tran the Younger listens too. I like that.
Talking about friendship makes me think of the other day when we were talking about weddings and our bridal parties. Mlle. Jang asked if Mlle. Smith would be my maid of honor, and I immediately said "no" without thinking. I feel bad because Mlle. Smith looked a bit hurt, but at least she was still a bridesmaid. I BS-ed my way out of that one, saying that I needed someone who wasn't wishy-washy, and Mlle. Smith said she understood.
That's not why. I'm constantly on the lookout for a candidate to be my maid of honor. Someone who can pass for my twin, yet is not uglier or prettier than me. Someone who is on the same wavelength. Someone who can finish my thoughts and sentences. Someone who always know the right presents to give me because she understands me so perfectly. Someone who will bitch-slap me when I step out of line. Someone who will force me to eat when I should but don't feel like eating. Someone who will love me regardless of my faults and misgivings, of my shallowness and pettiness, of my callousness and weaknesses, etc...
Once I find her, that girl will be my maid of honor.
If this is what I look for in a best girl friend, what exactly am I looking for in a soul mate?
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