If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.

I feel so empty, like something’s missing. Last year it went away really fast, this feeling, but it’s been nagging me the whole day since the moment I woke up.

I’m going to be conceited and assume that he likes me too. I wonder why we like each other, though. We’ve never really talked before yesterday, but I’m always intensely attracted to him. I don’t think it’s lust because I’ve never had a sexual thought about him. I think it’s because, to me, he’s a mystery. His life outside the temple is unknown to me. I only know that he’s an orphan with an identical twin and family members in the temple. He thinks I’m this quiet and shy girl but I’m pretty sure it’s unanimously agreed upon by those who are close to me that I tend to share things that people would rather not know like…I don’t know…my bowel movements. Also, since he won’t make a move, I’m forced to maneuver myself in a way that allows him room to make a move without looking suspicious, so it’s kind of, like, a puzzle, an enigma, a code I want to crack. Manipulation, almost, but not quite. Like a game. I make myself available; his turn. He makes a move; my turn. Like, it’s enjoyable because the thrill of the hunt gets you high, but I think what has happened is that we’re both more into the hunt itself than we are with the prey. Follow?

On a side note, the state of New York has legalized gay marriage. I don’t know why I’m not there yet. That state is totally my state.

I found this really really really great dress. It’s a dress; actually, it’s this Indian robe or whatever. But it’s so adorable. I want it.

But things like that get me thinking. Like, marriage is like finding the perfect item for your closet. Like, I don’t buy anything unless I fall for it at first sight. Then I grab it and head to the dressing room where I try it on. If I don’t love it, then I don’t get it because if I do get it, I’ll never wear it and would have wasted money on something I don’t love when I could have used that for something else. If I still love it or love it even more, then I put it back and leave the store. If I keep thinking about that item all day or all week how it would be perfect in my closet, how it would go with these tights or those shorts, and if I still want it, then I go and get it. Usually, new items purchased this way are incorporated seamlessly into my wardrobe and usually become one of my staples. But I’d hate to be the clothes and have others try me on just for fun. That doesn’t sound too good.