I lost my first kiss today. Sigh. I don't feel any different though. Kissing is a lot wetter than I thought it would be. Well, I mean, you are sharing saliva. It's not as amazing as I'd hoped. It's nice, I guess, but I'd much prefer necking and nuzzling. And cuddling. Definitely cuddling. The caressing was lovely as well.
M. Paff is very good with his hands. It's not what you think. Our clothes stay on since we watch the movie in his living room with his mother upstairs. But, my God, is he good with his hands.
What I love the most is how subtle and smooth it went. I initiate it first by putting my head on his shoulder. Then he slowly gets his hand closer to my thigh and lightly traces circles over my tights. Tracing leads to more tracing and brushing and touching and all that.
I would love to go into details, but since I'm sharing this blog with two other people, it's nobody's business except for M. Paff's and my own. But, goodness, it's like a little dance; I like that.
Well, since Mlle. Johnston and M. Dow are my confidantes, they know how far I've gone today. Well, M. Dow knows a bit more since Mlle. Johnston is a real person and it's a bit awkward to tell her sometimes. Haha. But she comes over at midnight cause I call her at midnight and I'm like, "Hey, I have to tell you something," and she's like, "Want me to come over?" and I'm like, "Sure." And she comes over and we giggle about it in her car. Well, she's the only real person beside M. Paff and I who know of our special relationship. Everyone else thinks we're just friends. Well, we are just friends.
Now that I've kissed him and all that, I think I can totally handle this whole separation of love and intimacy. Like, the whole time, what we do feels good, yeah, but I totally don't feel anything romantic feelings for him whatsoever. Like, we're getting all the sexual tension out, you know? That's good. That's great, even! But, you know, it's the first time. We'll see how it goes.
But it's nice being with him like that, you know? So much better than David since David has clammy hands and sometimes I feel nasty when he puts them on me. But M. Paff's hands are very nice--I think I've said that enough.
Got my haircut. Kind of really like it. Got sidebangs and got the ends trimmed. YEAH.
Now that M. Smith is gone, Mlle. Smith feels horrible and she wants to talk to and hangout with me. Thing is, I don't want to hangout with her. I feel like it'd be such a drag. But then I feel like such a bad friend for ditching her NOW. I don't know. The right thing to do is to hangout with her, but the desirable thing to do is to move on.
I should start thinking about a new name for the next blog since I'll be done with this one the day I move out. I need something clever and witty. Whatever, I have 33 days to figure it out.
M. Paff is very good with his hands. It's not what you think. Our clothes stay on since we watch the movie in his living room with his mother upstairs. But, my God, is he good with his hands.
What I love the most is how subtle and smooth it went. I initiate it first by putting my head on his shoulder. Then he slowly gets his hand closer to my thigh and lightly traces circles over my tights. Tracing leads to more tracing and brushing and touching and all that.
I would love to go into details, but since I'm sharing this blog with two other people, it's nobody's business except for M. Paff's and my own. But, goodness, it's like a little dance; I like that.
Well, since Mlle. Johnston and M. Dow are my confidantes, they know how far I've gone today. Well, M. Dow knows a bit more since Mlle. Johnston is a real person and it's a bit awkward to tell her sometimes. Haha. But she comes over at midnight cause I call her at midnight and I'm like, "Hey, I have to tell you something," and she's like, "Want me to come over?" and I'm like, "Sure." And she comes over and we giggle about it in her car. Well, she's the only real person beside M. Paff and I who know of our special relationship. Everyone else thinks we're just friends. Well, we are just friends.
Now that I've kissed him and all that, I think I can totally handle this whole separation of love and intimacy. Like, the whole time, what we do feels good, yeah, but I totally don't feel anything romantic feelings for him whatsoever. Like, we're getting all the sexual tension out, you know? That's good. That's great, even! But, you know, it's the first time. We'll see how it goes.
But it's nice being with him like that, you know? So much better than David since David has clammy hands and sometimes I feel nasty when he puts them on me. But M. Paff's hands are very nice--I think I've said that enough.
Got my haircut. Kind of really like it. Got sidebangs and got the ends trimmed. YEAH.
I should start thinking about a new name for the next blog since I'll be done with this one the day I move out. I need something clever and witty. Whatever, I have 33 days to figure it out.
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