So clubbing was a bust, but Mlle. Yee, M. Stone, and I had a good bonding experience.
I don't really know what I'm doing or where I'm going with M. Paff. Like, we're supposed to be best friends, but I feel like...I don't really know. I just know that I should never ever sleep with him and that he's never ever going to see me as more than a friend. I feel like I'm the only one who's actually trying to preserve and keep this relationship going, like M. Paff doesn't put in enough effort. He does it when it's convenient for him, and he doesn't really care about me that much.
So...me and M. Paff eat lunch together with some of the girls from my hall. I miss hanging out with him, sometimes. Then I go to class, come back to the dorm, and sleep for a while. Then Mlle. Yee and Mlle. Ramsden from down the hall hang out in the room while I sketch on the poster. Then me and the girls and M. Nikitin have dinner together. M. Paff's there with Mlle. Pages; he's ditched his usual hall dinner to eat dinner with her--he's never done that for me. He comes over and wants to know if I still want to help him move his stuff out to this car. I say, yeah, just give me a call.
After dinner, we all go to M. Nikitin room to get his roomie M. Uribe and the whole lot of us go back to my room to watch Skins. They don't like it as much as me and Mlle. Yee do. Boo. Then M. Paff shows up to my dorm--wow, first time there!--and wants me to go back to his dorm with him to get his stuff while I'm watching Skins here. I'm like, "Why don't you get all packed, and then call me, and I'll come over and help." We kind of argue about it for a while, but it's nothing serious. Then he comes back and I go to his room and help him with his shit.
Maybe I'm being paranoid, but when I leave, Mlle. Yee and Mlle. Chu both look like they want to say, "You help him with stuff but he never helps you with anything. Why are you letting him jerk you around?"
But, like, honestly, I really don't see why he even wants me to come because he's the one carrying everything and I'm just walking with him. I bring it up and he says he wants to spend more time with me. Yeah, right. Do I look stupid to you? But it's nice, just the two of us hanging out. We knock on my window and freak my friends out. Then we walk to his car so he can drop off his stuff and he walks me back to my dorm, all the way to my room--another first. It's an awkward goodbye at the door since I kind of just rush in because I don't want to miss any more Skins.
The lot of us just watch TV on Hulu and talk for a while. The boys seem really quiet, so it's very charming when they laugh or smile. I like having a bunch of friends nearby who I can hang out with anytime. Then the boys leave because their hall has a movie night. Then I leave cause my mom's come to pick me up.
Then I go home and play League of Legends with M. Paff and Mlle. Mayeda. He tells me that there's this girl that he wants to put a move on but he's not sure if he's going to go through it. My immediate guess is the girl that was with him before...Mlle. Lee. He denies it, and I keep guessing. He doesn't want to tell me, and I'm like, "some friends we are." After Mlle. Mayeda's gone to bed, he calls me and wants to play again. While we play, I keep bugging him about it, and he finally says that it is her.
Seriously, I don't really care anymore since I've sorted out my feelings for him, so it's all good. I hope he does things that will make him happy in the end.
Then he finds out that I have a journal and he wants to read it, and I'm like, "HELL NO." But who knows? Maybe I'll show him someday and we can laugh about who silly and irrationally overemotional I can be.
I don't really know what I'm doing or where I'm going with M. Paff. Like, we're supposed to be best friends, but I feel like...I don't really know. I just know that I should never ever sleep with him and that he's never ever going to see me as more than a friend. I feel like I'm the only one who's actually trying to preserve and keep this relationship going, like M. Paff doesn't put in enough effort. He does it when it's convenient for him, and he doesn't really care about me that much.
So...me and M. Paff eat lunch together with some of the girls from my hall. I miss hanging out with him, sometimes. Then I go to class, come back to the dorm, and sleep for a while. Then Mlle. Yee and Mlle. Ramsden from down the hall hang out in the room while I sketch on the poster. Then me and the girls and M. Nikitin have dinner together. M. Paff's there with Mlle. Pages; he's ditched his usual hall dinner to eat dinner with her--he's never done that for me. He comes over and wants to know if I still want to help him move his stuff out to this car. I say, yeah, just give me a call.
After dinner, we all go to M. Nikitin room to get his roomie M. Uribe and the whole lot of us go back to my room to watch Skins. They don't like it as much as me and Mlle. Yee do. Boo. Then M. Paff shows up to my dorm--wow, first time there!--and wants me to go back to his dorm with him to get his stuff while I'm watching Skins here. I'm like, "Why don't you get all packed, and then call me, and I'll come over and help." We kind of argue about it for a while, but it's nothing serious. Then he comes back and I go to his room and help him with his shit.
Maybe I'm being paranoid, but when I leave, Mlle. Yee and Mlle. Chu both look like they want to say, "You help him with stuff but he never helps you with anything. Why are you letting him jerk you around?"
But, like, honestly, I really don't see why he even wants me to come because he's the one carrying everything and I'm just walking with him. I bring it up and he says he wants to spend more time with me. Yeah, right. Do I look stupid to you? But it's nice, just the two of us hanging out. We knock on my window and freak my friends out. Then we walk to his car so he can drop off his stuff and he walks me back to my dorm, all the way to my room--another first. It's an awkward goodbye at the door since I kind of just rush in because I don't want to miss any more Skins.
The lot of us just watch TV on Hulu and talk for a while. The boys seem really quiet, so it's very charming when they laugh or smile. I like having a bunch of friends nearby who I can hang out with anytime. Then the boys leave because their hall has a movie night. Then I leave cause my mom's come to pick me up.
Then I go home and play League of Legends with M. Paff and Mlle. Mayeda. He tells me that there's this girl that he wants to put a move on but he's not sure if he's going to go through it. My immediate guess is the girl that was with him before...Mlle. Lee. He denies it, and I keep guessing. He doesn't want to tell me, and I'm like, "some friends we are." After Mlle. Mayeda's gone to bed, he calls me and wants to play again. While we play, I keep bugging him about it, and he finally says that it is her.
Seriously, I don't really care anymore since I've sorted out my feelings for him, so it's all good. I hope he does things that will make him happy in the end.
Then he finds out that I have a journal and he wants to read it, and I'm like, "HELL NO." But who knows? Maybe I'll show him someday and we can laugh about who silly and irrationally overemotional I can be.
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